The following is the third installment in a weekly series of reflections from one of our learners in the Beyond Mindfulness program. Each week, Noopur will recap her personal experience to give insight into her journey towards a more aware and intentional life. If you’re ready to start your journey in mindfulness, please get in touch. We’re here to help.
Hello lovely people!
How are you doing this week?
My week has been …..what shall we call it? Interesting! Yes, let’s go with ‘interesting’.
I wish I could say I have many insights to share with you, but the truth is: I don’t. What I do have are a lot of questions that have been swirling around my head. And maybe together we can find answers to them—if not today then maybe sometime in the future.
Sitting in Stillness
One of the reflective tasks we did this week was sitting in stillness.
Is it just me, or does everyone find this difficult…? I wonder how all the saints and yogis do it for hours!
Sitting in stillness has never been easy for me. I have tried a few times in the past. Let’s just say it never went the way it should have. The restlessness, the physical pain, and me getting carried away with my thoughts made me feel like I would never be able to do it.
There came a point (only recently) when I realized that, to be a better Dance Movement Therapy practitioner, to be able to do my job well, I needed to learn to be aware—and this needs to be addressed. The sooner I address it the better it will be.
So, I have started with sitting down in deliberate silence. I can only manage 5 minutes, but hey! That’s a start.
Isn’t it strange? We are so used to something or the other happening around us so often, that sitting with our thoughts is difficult.
We talk about finding harmony in society, while there is little harmony in our minds and bodies.
The Inner Critic Awakens
The first instruction we have been given when sitting in silence is to focus. Focus on our thoughts, our emotions, and our bodily sensations. This is when my inner critic usually decides to wake up. Why are you not sitting straight? What is this feeling? Why are there so many thoughts? See you are getting carried away again.
I have realised how constant this voice inside me is. It’s with me as I go about with my day. I wish it was a curious voice; because while the questions are definitely curious, the way they are asked is not observational but feels a lot more like surveillance. It makes me want to run away from this constant spotlight.
Add to this the number of moving elements one needs to pay attention to. It is insane! So there is my body that has a variety of types and kinds of sensations. Then there is my breath, my feelings, and my thoughts. Along with this, I have to be aware of my surroundings and be present for other people. How does one even be aware of all these things at the same time?
Intention and Practice
As I write this, I think of something I learned recently. Sometimes it is about doing and not thinking, and what I am really doing right now with all my questions is just thinking—while my focus should be the overall experience!
Maybe all of this is like dancing. When one learns to dance, one starts with the basics, learns to move their body, coordinate their limbs with the music, and learns to express themselves. It never happens in one day. It takes time. It takes working on the different elements sometimes in isolation and sometimes together and with time it gets easier.
Finding the Harmony Within
So…to wrap up…my learning this week is interconnectedness. The interconnectedness of my breath and my emotions and my body. I am a universe with cells, blood, and organs, a thinking mind, and a beating heart. And to achieve inner harmony I need to learn to honestly listen, acknowledge and communicate with myself. This is going to be a lifelong journey and I can start with baby steps 🙂
Thank you for listening to me.
I will see you next week.
Signing off for now!