Coaching Presence & Listening

Apr 1, 2022

Presence and Listening are two key skills in a coach’s arsenal.

These skills help us pay more attention to our clients and help us create a deeper connection with them.

But how do we ensure presence while in the session?

How to listen actively?

What are ways to stay grounded

Cindy and Nobantu share their tips and tricks and share from their experience how to listen actively and stay grounded.

Learn about:

  • Emotions
  • How to pay more attention to our clients & how to connect with them?
  • Curiosity, showing clients they matter
  • Presence and Listening
  • Rituals to remain grounded
  • How do we know when we are present
  • Importance of allowing silence
  • Questions to bring reflection in our clients
  • What draws curiosity in coaches

Webinar: Coaching Presence & Listening

Like to listen instead? We have a podcast!

This session is also available as audio-only on our podcast. Listen below or find Coach to Lead wherever you listen to podcasts.

Section 1

21:00:32 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
Hi
21:00:34 From Meryl Moss to Hosts and panelists:
Hello from Massachusetts, USA. Meryl
21:00:42 From Pavan Palwe to Everyone:
Hello everyone
21:00:42 From Heather Luxion to Hosts and panelists:
Hello from Chicago in the US – Great to see you all today
21:00:48 From janice duis to Everyone:
Good Morning from New Mexico
21:00:48 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
New York, US
21:00:49 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
Hi Anand from Ghana
21:00:53 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
Greetings from Tehran, Iran!
21:00:53 From Priyanka Dutta to Everyone:
India
21:00:55 From Preeti Kumari to Everyone:
Preeti from Ghana
21:00:56 From Rajan Sinha to Hosts and panelists:
Hi, from Noida, India
21:00:59 From Rahul Srinivasan to Everyone:
Hello everyone. Rahul from Chennai.
21:01:00 From Ram Charan to Hosts and panelists:
Ram Charan in Portugal now
21:01:01 From rashima malhotra to Everyone:
hello everyone..Rashima from India gurgaon
21:01:01 From Narayanan Muthuswamy to Hosts and panelists:
Hello Narayanan from India
21:01:03 From Gwen Fells to Everyone:
Columbus, OH
21:01:06 From Nagesh Reddy to Everyone:
Nagesh Reddy from Hyderabad, India
21:01:06 From Nirguna Tilwankar to Everyone:
hello all, this is Nirguna from India
21:01:14 From Muhammad Subhan Iswahyudi to Everyone:
Subhan from Bandung, Indonesia
21:01:15 From Khyati Shah to Everyone:
Khyati from Mumbai
21:01:15 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
Hello from Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
21:01:23 From marcia kent to Everyone:
Hello from Argentina°
21:01:44 From Andrew Friar to Everyone:
Hello from Atlanta, USA
21:01:52 From Pekka Pirhonen to Everyone:
Greetings from Finland – Pekka
21:02:04 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
Hello from Mumbai India
21:02:06 From Nagesh Reddy to Everyone:
Sawubona
21:02:09 From Madhav Punde to Everyone:
From India
21:02:20 From Angela Ludolf Pulcherio to Everyone:
Hello fom Rio de Janeiro
21:02:25 From Susanna Alpino to Everyone:
hello from San Gimignano, Italy
21:02:36 From Kannan Kannan to Everyone:
Kannan, Chennai – India
21:02:40 From Sunder Raman S to Hosts and panelists:
Sunder from Mumbai
21:02:50 From Nobantu Mpotulo to Everyone:
Sanibonani everyone I see you I hear you
21:02:50 From Sunder Raman S to Hosts and panelists:
Hi Cindy how are you?
21:03:31 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Welcome everyone!
21:03:42 From Tumelo Hoohlo to Everyone:
Greetings from the beautiful mountains of Lesotho 🇱🇸 neighbour with South Africa 🤝🏽🇿🇦👏🏽
21:03:43 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Please select “To: Everyone”
21:03:47 From Sunder Raman S to Everyone:
Ok
21:03:53 From Angela Nordgren to Everyone:
Good morning from Chicago
21:04:14 From Kakoli Saha to Everyone:
Hi everyone! I am Kakoli from Kolkata
21:04:31 From Sarah Urriste to Everyone:
Hello from Florida!
21:04:47 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Hello hello! Welcome 🙂
21:05:08 From Bhavin Ashar to Everyone:
hello Bhavin Ashar from India Mumbai
21:05:24 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
excitement
21:05:29 From Coacharya to Everyone:
“I love you”
21:05:34 From Preeti Kumari to Everyone:
curious and excited
21:05:35 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
curiousity
21:05:40 From Angela Nordgren to Everyone:
Feeling anticipation
21:05:41 From Andrew Friar to Everyone:
Anticipation
21:05:42 From Angela Ludolf Pulcherio to Everyone:
Deep gratitude to be alive
21:05:45 From Meryl Moss to Everyone:
Comfort and strength
21:05:45 From Susanna Alpino to Everyone:
muscolar tension
21:05:45 From Aanchal Grover to Hosts and panelists:
Peace
21:05:46 From Jan Strydom to Hosts and panelists:
Ready to receive and learn – anticipation
21:05:49 From Rahul Srinivasan to Everyone:
Peace
21:05:49 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
tired from day work, sleepy ,but excited too
21:05:50 From Mary DArcy to Everyone:
tired
21:05:54 From Sunder Raman S to Everyone:
Very comfortable
21:05:54 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
Excitement and distraction
21:05:56 From Bhavin Ashar to Everyone:
gratitude
21:05:56 From Priyanka Dutta to Everyone:
I feel relaxed & open
21:05:58 From Madhav Punde to Everyone:
Tension, excitement
21:05:59 From Coacharya to Hosts and panelists:
Please read out the answers
21:06:04 From Sarah Urriste to Everyone:
hunger (nearly lunch) and interest (in this conversation)
21:06:10 From Pavan Palwe to Everyone:
Happy to hear what others have say
21:06:16 From Devika Thorat to Everyone:
Peace
21:06:19 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
It is saying: listen to me all the time pls😄
21:06:22 From Pekka Pirhonen to Everyone:
Being here with a open mind
21:07:19 From janice duis to Everyone:
Yes!
21:07:22 From Sarah Urriste to Everyone:
Yes!
21:07:24 From Pavan Palwe to Everyone:
I do
21:07:36 From Narayanan Muthuswamy to Hosts and panelists:
✋🏿
21:08:29 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Najme that’s so relatable! And so profound
21:08:58 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
Thank you 😍
21:09:35 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
Can relate to what Nobantu is saying…a demo will help here
21:09:39 From Coacharya to Everyone:
The question is: How can we pay more attention to the broad picture of our clients, eg culture, environment, context?
21:09:44 From Jan Strydom to Hosts and panelists:
Observation and looking and noticing body language. Fine nuances.
21:09:45 From janice duis to Everyone:
Being mostly remote or virtual, listening deeply means hearing on all levels even unstated emotions.
21:10:24 From Jan Strydom to Hosts and panelists:
Hidden – unidentified emotions and beliefs and expecations.
21:10:26 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
by practicing mindfulness in our own lives so it becomes a habit, and by staying curious
21:14:35 From Madhav Punde to Everyone:
How do you maintain beginners mind?
21:14:36 From Andrew Friar to Everyone:
That’s a very good point. The experience remains with the clients, we are simply creating the space.
21:15:15 From Angela Nordgren to Everyone:
Relate, affirm, inquire
21:15:18 From Angela Ludolf Pulcherio to Everyone:
being curious means caring
21:15:34 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
I think if we try to pay attention to ourselves it leads to great understanding of others. the more i know myself the more i can know other people.
21:16:19 From Madhav Punde to Everyone:
That is a very pertinent observation Najme
21:16:56 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
Thanks 😊
21:17:37 From Prasad MN to Everyone:
sharing from what I learned in an earlier Coacharya webinar – being curious is to understand what is different about this person’s unique experience
21:18:23 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
How are presence and listening related to each other?
21:19:23 From Manish Pajan to Everyone:
Listening is a necessary but not sufficient condition for presence.
21:21:18 From Jan Strydom to Hosts and panelists:
eye contact, body language communicating the reality of giving attention – giving honor is the key for me to being present. Listening is additional to this.
21:22:07 From Lina Das to Everyone:
Presence is the outcome of listening
21:22:13 From Gwen Fells to Everyone:
Presence is a component of listening
21:23:01 From Priyanka Dutta to Everyone:
Being in the now so that our listening is not affected by what is happening around, before or even the filters that we have.
21:23:07 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
Or listening is component of Presence?
21:23:09 From Angela Nordgren to Everyone:
Saying to the client, I saw your expression shift, what’s coming up for you?
21:23:46 From Gwen Fells to Everyone:
Yes, listening is a component of presence ☺️.
21:23:47 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
I do a slow-pace breathing exercise, and “empty my cup” before going into sessions
21:23:53 From Mary DArcy to Everyone:
deep breathing helps and putting my feet on the floor.
21:24:11 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
I think we need to be present to listen actively. So presence is like a pre-condition.
21:24:29 From janice duis to Everyone:
As an internal coach, I am often running from meeting to meeting and session to session. Ending clients 10 minutes between allows me to just breathe and sit for a few minutes and envisioning my next client. Picturing him or her in my mind and just breathing
21:25:06 From Angela Nordgren to Everyone:
I take several deep breaths and say my client’s name and tell myself I am ready to listen and serve my client
21:25:24 From Bhavin Ashar to Everyone:
I think some good time between 2 meeting is necessary
21:25:52 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
I listen to chants and do breathing
21:26:37 From With-Coach-Kathy to Everyone:
I sit quietly alone, I reflect a little with some slow musical beats as I allow the energy out and in…
21:26:43 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Even looking around the room, taking in the physical space visually – a new practice I picked up from my coach trainer Tracy!
21:26:45 From Angela Ludolf Pulcherio to Everyone:
breathing, breathing, to calm myself
21:26:55 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
I like the quote, “Listen until you don’t exist”
21:27:07 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
Kind of like when the self dissolves
21:27:12 From Mary DArcy to Everyone:
feeling calm and totally relaxed
21:27:14 From Coacharya to Everyone:
What a great question
21:27:19 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
When I am not thinking about what the client will possibly be bringing to the session today
21:27:19 From Devika Thorat to Everyone:
I write in my journal of what I need to do to be there fully for the client.
21:27:31 From Coacharya to Everyone:
It’s a somatic readiness
21:27:39 From Rajiv Padmanabhan to Everyone:
It’s a paradox – the moment you know you are present – it’s lost…
21:27:45 From Priyanka Dutta to Everyone:
When I feel an emotion or a thought comes in out of nowhere, an urge to speak
21:28:05 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Calm and the questions are more powerful following the line of thinking of the client. Not mine
21:28:30 From Lina Das to Everyone:
I am able to follow the client in his or her story…
21:28:33 From janice duis to Everyone:
I have a picture over my desk that is peaceful and I often imagine myself in that picture, and when I put my feet flat on the floor it grounds me.
21:28:34 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
I’m present when there is no bias and judgements and my mind stops talking. It’s like mindlessness
21:28:48 From George George to Everyone:
I know when I feel comfortable somatically with listening with intent – when I feel that I am in the flow with the client
21:28:48 From Prasad MN to Everyone:
What comes to me is when I am not thinking about the next question
21:28:54 From With-Coach-Kathy to Everyone:
Often I realize the depth of my presence in a session after the session is over, and it occurs to me that I wasn’t anywhere else much, and the clients journey was at some other level
21:28:58 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Listening more and not interrupting or waiting to speak
21:29:29 From Susanna Alpino to Everyone:
I am present when my ego is silent and I can listen to and feel the client
21:29:32 From Andrew Friar to Everyone:
Being willing to go on the journey that is unfolding with the client is important
21:29:33 From Pekka Pirhonen to Everyone:
How do I know I’m present? When the voice in my head stops explaining to me that I’m present right now. Being present always happens unexpectedly.
21:29:35 From Mary DArcy to Everyone:
Being comfortable with silence
21:30:15 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
Thanks Pekka👌
21:30:43 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Like that susanna
21:30:48 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
I like that. When we relax our body we relax our mind
21:31:30 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Mind and body is one system
21:32:01 From George George to Everyone:
My ego is a storyteller and wants to be an extrovert – I work on being a story listener
21:32:18 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Ohh George! Lovely
21:33:05 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
WOW
21:34:50 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
the whole person
21:34:56 From With-Coach-Kathy to Everyone:
Shifts
21:35:02 From Nitha Shirali to Everyone:
Emotions
21:35:05 From Preeti Kumari to Everyone:
energy
21:35:06 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
sometimes unmet needs
21:35:07 From Angela Ludolf Pulcherio to Everyone:
his essence
21:35:10 From Aisling Westerdijk to Hosts and panelists:
Insights
21:35:20 From Aisling Westerdijk to Hosts and panelists:
Energy
21:35:22 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Making observations from all the senses
21:35:27 From Venkat POTTURU to Everyone:
Stilling the minding for few seconds helps for calming down and improve presence.
21:35:28 From Aisling Westerdijk to Hosts and panelists:
What is not said
21:35:52 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Repetition
21:35:57 From Preeti Kumari to Everyone:
spoken and unspoken words
21:36:11 From Devika Thorat to Everyone:
emotions behind the words
21:36:11 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Violent and non violent language
21:36:14 From Priyanka Dutta to Everyone:
I give my 100% and let my being decide what to look for in the moment.
21:36:24 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
Their source…not sure what this is, but I know I am paying attention to it. I get glimpes
21:36:27 From Venkat POTTURU to Everyone:
paraphrasing
21:36:40 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
emphasis they place on certain words, the pauses, the facial expressions
21:37:18 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
Oh yes. I feel that when I ask a question and then just drop it…it is when I feel like I took a left in my now direction
21:37:29 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
My own direction
21:38:44 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
beautiful related to the evoking awareness…wow
21:38:57 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
It feels disrespectful when I don’t do that. Thank you for raising this as being essential
21:39:05 From Coacharya to Everyone:
What is the principle that drives the exploration?
21:40:34 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
How can we do that? This is very interesting
21:40:35 From Coacharya to Everyone:
As in, what are we curious about, exactly? Are we trying to simply understand who the client is and what the client is experiencing?
Is the curiosity rooted in “I want to help them”? Is it “Love”? What is it that drives this curiosity?
21:40:53 From With-Coach-Kathy to Everyone:
Cindy, how do we invite a client into a moment of silence or reflection?
21:41:35 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
sustained curiosity and connection leads to love
21:41:40 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
So helpful. thank you
21:42:19 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
I agree it’s about the present and future – that said sometimes we need to allow clients space to get the emotion out so they can get let insight and logic in
21:43:13 From Nidhi Panjwani to Everyone:
I really liked this one Cindy – “what are you feeling lighter about?”
21:44:11 From janice duis to Everyone:
What is a gentle question to invite a client to silence who is stuck in their moment?
21:46:11 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
So silence provides space for insights
21:47:11 From Pekka Pirhonen to Everyone:
Good listening is about small moments. Nothing special. Happens if you don’t try hard to listen. Just trust it to happen. And it will.
21:47:30 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
wow
21:47:37 From Priyanka Dutta to Everyone:
How do you handle if the client says ‘I don’t know’?
21:47:49 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Sometimes clients ask for a moment to note something down – that silence can be a moment to reset and reflect
21:48:06 From With-Coach-Kathy to Everyone:
Very interesting and gentle question Nobantu. I like it…
21:48:27 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
I feel myself listening with high level of presence when my mind has no questions for follow up at all.
21:48:36 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
Thanks Pekka whenever we push something to happen it won’t work.
21:49:05 From George George to Everyone:
Is there a way to get a copy of the chat? So many great comments. Will it be available in the recorded webinar?
21:49:26 From Coacharya to Everyone:
George we can provide it
21:49:37 From Coacharya to Everyone:
It will be up on the website and youtube channel
21:49:54 From Andrew Friar to Everyone:
@coacharya – Thank you!
21:50:14 From George George to Everyone:
😁
21:50:29 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Foundation course with Nobantu: https://coacharya.com/event/coaching-foundation-may-2022-nobantu/
21:50:35 From With-Coach-Kathy to Everyone:
Thank you very much Coacharya! This is great and very insightful conversations.
21:50:48 From Coacharya to Everyone:
It’s starting on the 16th of May
21:50:58 From Coacharya to Everyone:
May 16th 🙂
21:51:15 From Meryl Moss to Everyone:
Where could we find that information?
21:51:37 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Foundation course with Nobantu: https://coacharya.com/event/coaching-foundation-may-2022-nobantu/

Specialized Advanced Course (Executive Coaching) with Cindy: https://coacharya.com/event/advanced-coaching-acc-to-pcc-bridge-focus-executive-coaching/
21:51:37 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
May 16 is Monday
21:51:50 From janice duis to Everyone:
This is my first experience with Coacharya. what a beautiful experience and cohort. Thank you.
21:52:16 From marcia kent to Everyone:
Thanks a lot!!! Super conference!!
21:52:17 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
coacharya rocks
21:52:22 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
is there also a coaching foundation w/ Nobantu on Apr. 10?
21:53:24 From Pekka Pirhonen to Everyone:
Indeed CoachArya rocks! These great ladies talking and listening in a new spacious way – this is the future.
21:53:33 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
For me it’s genuine positive regard for my client and I want the best for them and for them to be the best of themselves
21:53:44 From Andrew Friar to Hosts and panelists:
I noticed the registration link does not work on Nobantu’s course.
21:53:48 From Bhavin Ashar to Everyone:
thanks a lot Cindy and Nobabtu . very interesting talk .
21:53:58 From Angela Ludolf Pulcherio to Everyone:
establish authentic partnership
21:54:01 From Anand Agrawal to Everyone:
I love to love my clients,…so I am curious about them
21:55:59 From George George to Everyone:
Related practical question for internal coaches – is the starting discussion generally around the work situation or is it more effective to take an open approach?
21:56:11 From Coacharya to Everyone:
Celebrates the client’s progress and success
21:58:27 From Rahul Srinivasan to Everyone:
Thank you Nobantu, Cindy and Neha for this great session!
21:58:29 From Najme Eshghi Golbaz to Everyone:
Thank you all. That was perfect 😍
21:59:03 From Pavan Palwe to Everyone:
Thank You Neha, Cindy and Nobantu for the session
21:59:09 From Angela Ludolf Pulcherio to Everyone:
Thank you very much for a wonderful webinar!
21:59:29 From Coacharya to Everyone:
If you have any questions or wish to register for any course, please email support@coacharya.com and we will be happy to take it further from there! 🙂
21:59:32 From Andrew Friar to Hosts and panelists:
This has been a wonderful session. Full of enlightening moments!
21:59:35 From kawsar Koodaruth to Everyone:
I really liked the invitation for a pause/silence/reflection. Thank you for a great session today. Great energy.
21:59:45 From Angela Nordgren to Everyone:
Thank for today’s discussion – I see how I can improve how I can more effectively utilize silence in my practice
22:00:11 From Madhav Punde to Everyone:
Thank you for a very thoughtful discussion
22:00:14 From Gwen Fells to Everyone:
Thank you!
22:00:19 From Akshat Kapur to Everyone:
That was wonderful. Haha.
22:00:35 From Aisling Westerdijk to Everyone:
Thank you – very calm kind and reflective session
22:00:59 From Sunder Raman S to Everyone:
Thank you for the session
22:01:05 From Preeti Kumari to Everyone:
Thank you…very informative and insightful session…really awwwed session
22:01:09 From Sunder Raman S to Everyone:
Great insights
22:01:10 From Susanna Alpino to Everyone:
thank you so much!!
22:01:13 From Dev Deepika to Hosts and panelists:
Lovely being here thanks so much
22:01:15 From Priyanka Dutta to Everyone:
Thank you for this insightful session!
22:01:15 From Zachary Rodrigues to Everyone:
thank you everyone, great comments
22:01:18 From Meryl Moss to Everyone:
Thank you so much!
22:01:18 From Tushar Buch to Hosts and panelists:
Thank you Coacharya, Cindy,NObantu
22:01:18 From Kannan Kannan to Everyone:
thank you, great session
22:01:20 From Paula Di Rita Wishart to Everyone:
Thank you! Always a highlight to the week!
22:01:22 From Naomie Noronha to Everyone:
thank you so much
22:01:26 From Aanchal Grover to Hosts and panelists:
Thanks a lot, great conversation!
22:01:28 From Sarah Urriste to Everyone:
Thank you!
22:01:31 From Sunder Raman S to Everyone:
bye

 

Denz Jacob
Denz Jacob

DenzJacob

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