Deep Listening: The Art of Resonant Coaching

Understanding Deep Listening Beyond Hearing

Listening is not a passive act or merely a function of hearing. Deep listening transcends the simple reception of sound; it involves an intentional engagement with the speaker, fostering resonance and transformation. Even deeper responding, therefore, is not about reaction or judgement, but rather about being in harmony with the speaker’s essence. This reflective paper explores the profound dimensions of deep listening and responding through the lens of yogic wisdom, coaching practice, and self-awareness.

The Role of Śāṃtam in Deep Listening

Raghu frequently invokes the stillness of śāṃtam, which, as a state of deep quietude and attunement, offers significant insight into the nature of profound listening. When a veena is perfectly tuned, it remains still and silent yet capable of responding with precision when played. Similarly, a coach or listener in śāṃtam remains fully present, responding with clarity and resonance rather than through preconditioned reactions. In this state, there is no distinction between listening and responding—there is only flow.

Perception and Conscious Engagement

This perspective aligns with the notion that true perception is not merely a passive intake of information but an active choice. The quality of our attention dictates the depth of our understanding. Perception does not occur automatically; it takes place when we consciously engage with what lies before us. As listeners, our attention shapes our interpretation, making it essential to cultivate an inner stillness that permits us to receive without distortion.

Raghu’s guru, Krishnamacharya, teaches that when we listen from a place of inner silence, we respond appropriately to the moment. This indicates that our responses stem not from cognitive choices but from a deeper attunement to another’s essence. In coaching, this requires refraining from steering or directing the conversation and instead allowing the natural resonance between coach and client to unfold.

The Coach-Client Dynamic: Creating Sacred Space

The Upanishads state that reality and experience emerge between two (or more) entities when they interact with one another. Consequently, coaching is a reality that forms between the coach and the coachee. Since the coachee approaches the coach with a preconditioned notion of seeking help, the inner state of the coach significantly influences the nature of the coaching that develops through their engagement. If the coach is not grounded in śāmtam, the coachee will find it exceedingly difficult to be authentic and vulnerable.

The Yogic view emphasises that our senses function as transducers, transforming external signals into meaning within us. This implies that when we listen to another individual, we do not perceive them directly but interpret them through our own filters. Consequently, genuine listening necessitates an awareness of how our biases and past experiences influence our interpretation. When we react, we are not responding to the other person but to our own inner conditioning.

Overcoming Conditioning: The Path to Clear Perception

Raghu emphasises that our cultural and psychological conditioning often obstructs our ability to listen deeply. We tend to perceive others through the lens of our past experiences, values, and beliefs. This creates an imbalance in relationships, particularly in coaching, where the client is vulnerable while the coach occupies a position of authority.

Consequently, deep listening requires a conscious effort to rise above our conditioning. The Yoga Sutra suggests that we do not perceive reality as it is; rather, we project our internal states onto the world. If we do not truly understand ourselves, our listening will be tinged by our own unresolved wounds and biases. To truly listen, we must first heal and clear our inner landscape.

Maitri: The Foundation of Deep Listening

A key insight in this discourse is the role of Maitri, or unconditional friendliness towards oneself. Often, we seek to help others without first addressing our own wounds. However, if we do not heal ourselves, our reactions to others are coloured by our own pain and reactivity. Raghu emphasises that being human involves engaging with our deepest potential without carrying unresolved anger, fear, or insecurity.

Compassion is not something that needs to be cultivated—it is our natural state. However, the barriers to compassion, formed by conditioning, fears, and social expectations, must be consciously recognised and removed. This self-reflection enables us to resonate deeply with others, responding from a place of authenticity rather than projection.

A fundamental shift occurs when we move from merely being present with another person to becoming fully engaged with ourselves while listening. In coaching and deep dialogue, we often presume that we understand the other person’s reality. However, what we truly perceive is what emerges within us in response to the other.

This signifies that deep responding is not about offering solutions or advice, but rather about fully resonating with the moment. As Raghu observes, actions stemming from inner stillness are more aligned with truth, whereas actions influenced by bias are shaped by our conditioning. Thus, cultivating inner silence is the most potent means to ensure that our responses meet the needs of the moment.

The Paradox of Assistance in Coaching

One of the most transformative ideas presented is the paradox of assistance. In traditional coaching and therapy models, the coach or therapist is expected to provide guidance to the client. However, from a yogic perspective, the true role of the coach is not to direct but to resonate.

By being fully present with themselves, the coach or listener allows the other person’s healing energies to emerge. This approach fundamentally differs from intervention-based models; it prioritises creating an environment where the individual can access their own inner wisdom. Trust is established not through advice, but through presence, conveying the unspoken message: “I see you, I feel you, I connect with you.”

When approached with inner stillness, listening becomes a gateway to deeper understanding. Responding, when freed from conditioned reactivity, becomes a natural extension of profound resonance. The journey of deep listening and even deeper responding is ultimately about clearing the inner noise that obstructs our ability to genuinely connect with ourselves and others.

When we cultivate śāṃtam within, our responses arise from a place of clarity rather than from habit. By engaging with Maitri, we nurture acceptance of ourselves and, in turn, of others. Furthermore, as we transcend conditioning, we create a space for genuine resonance, where listening and responding become not separate actions but a cohesive experience of being fully present.

The Inner Journey: Self-Listening as a Gateway

Ultimately, the deepest form of listening is directed towards ourselves. By listening to ourselves with awareness, we nurture the ability to listen to others with depth, authenticity, and love.

 

 

(This blog post presents a discussion between Raghu and Steve that took place at Coacharya’s webinar on the Saptaswara Coaching Framework on 23rd January 2025. Excited for more? Join us for the second webinar in the Saptaswara Coaching Framework series on February 27, 2025! Register now to secure your spot.)

 

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