Grief to Acceptance

Oct 10, 2022

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”

– William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Most people experience grief in life. But it looks different for everyone. Grief strikes unexpectedly and a lot of the time, it can be painful to move through it. Now, how does therapy tackle grief? How do various kinds of therapies navigate denial and lack of awareness about grief?

These questions and more were addressed by Emma Brooke, a trained Integrative Psychotherapeutic Counsellor and Life Coach, and Vandana Jakhar, a certified Regression Therapist, and a family constellations facilitator.

Webinar: Being a Coach Series – Grief To Acceptance

Podcast: Being a Coach Series – Grief To Acceptance

Grief From the Lens of Transpersonal Regression Therapy

“Grief is not just losing someone or something. It’s also losing our own part associated with that loved one,” Vandana said as she discussed how transpersonal regression therapy works.

Vandana explained how regression therapists go to the past of a person’s life, their ancestors, and their lineage. The significance of going to the roots was highlighted by Vandana when she pointed out that grief can transfer or come through generations if left untreated.

“The first step is to make my client aware that they are grieving.”

In fact, it was endearing to see how family constellations therapy has been transformational for some of the webinar attendees. “Possibly the most powerful healing modality I have ever witnessed and participated in,” commented one of them.


How Does Grief Play Out?

So, when does a person need therapeutic intervention, and is it necessary for everybody who experiences grief?

“Grief is a very natural emotion and a majority of people will go through it at some point in time without needing therapeutic intervention. If I see grief in my work, it’s because it is affecting a person on a day-to-day basis.” Emma explained how grief plays out when people can’t focus well, keep forgetting things, feel angry, or have peaks of emotions for no seemingly apparent reason. To this, Vandana added that grief can be hidden under many layers. “A person can even carry their ancestral trauma or unprocessed grief.”

Grief is multi-faceted. There are neither any guidebooks to read or refer to nor is grief linear. So, how does someone process an overlap of grief in other aspects of life? What are the layers that need careful unraveling?

To Emma, it’s never just grief. “Generally speaking, there’s always going to be extra layers with holistic beings.” The holistic view of their lives shows us the bigger picture. It’s essential to not miss the context.


Tools and Techniques 

Talking about the practices or exercises psychotherapeutic counselors use to help people deal with grief, Emma said that it always depends on the client. But writing letters to loved ones, memory boxes, and somatic work are some of the techniques that are employed.

“A lot of it is also about accepting that grief is not something that you can control. Helping the client know that it’s okay for them to feel whatever they are feeling and it’s going to take as long as it takes, is also a part of it.”

How does regression therapy look at it? Are the modalities different?

Through transpersonal regression therapy, the client revisits the time when they felt the pain deeply. “That particular situation or moment holds a lot of grief. We cannot remove the memory, but we can remove the charge.” There is, of course, a lot of caution that needs to be exercised and care that should be taken with reliving the trauma. Hence, only experts in the field of transpersonal regression therapy or family constellations facilitators practice it.


My Takeaway 

It is important to feel our emotions, the good, bad, and the ugly–all of them. While grief is complex, it can be navigated with professional help and counseling.

At the same time, however, this webinar also made me realize that just holding the space for someone to share how they feel, even if they just want to cry, can help them in opening up about pent-up emotions. Just sitting with someone in silence or listening to what they have to say is a start to a person coming to terms with experiencing grief. I would encourage you to watch this webinar to explore the nuances of grief, how it affects individuals and the role of therapeutic interventions in dealing with it.

Yamini Kandpal
Yamini Kandpal


Yamini Kandpal works as a Content Specialist at Coacharya. With a background in writing and editing as part of journalism, she has found her own corner in the stories of the coaching world. While away from work, you can find her traveling or scribbling her musings in a notebook.

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