Don’t rely on coaching tools. Trust yourself.

Ram Ramanathan  •  Oct 8, 2020  •  4 min read

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Don’t rely on coaching tools. Trust yourself.

In the early days of my coaching journey, I encountered several who postured as coaches born, with wisdom derived from the ancients, who were quite dismissive when I said I credentialed just a year or two ago, and that I strayed accidentally into the coaching space, and stayed as I loved it.

Each of these ‘master’ coaches had a secret sauce. These were special tools, techniques, and models that they seemed to have developed, designed to make coaching esoteric, mysterious and for a selected few. Most of these were about ‘powerful questioning’, a competency I never understood. One coach had a box of questions that she sold at a price, recommending that the aspiring coach pick up one and use that as a foundation question in the session. It was something like using Tarot Cards or the I Ching as a coaching aid; the purpose, see to make the process complex.

Coacharya was founded with the simple objective of demystifying coaching; in turn to make coaching simple and affordable; to reach out to millions who have no idea of coaching, and yet are born coaches, as they are born leaders and healers. We would like to democratize coaching. Everyone should be able to coach themselves and coach others.

Coaching is a simple journey of transition from a current reality that may be disempowering to the desired outcome that could empower. The transition often gets complicated because we do not know what we really need, and instead focus on our wants. Wants arise from greed, the desire to be and to do, and to have what others are, do and have. Wants are not authentic, needs are. Once we resolve this primary confusion within us, the rest is simple.

The coaching process asks some simple, humble questions. In our classes we start with, ‘what does the universe want you to be in the next year?’; then, ‘what would you be, want to do and have then?; Why would it be meaningful?; ‘what would you need to shift within to reach that space?’ To a large extent, these questions can help clarify our needs.

That’s all there is to coaching. As you ask and receive responses (yes, you surely will, if you’re committed), sense what you experience in your body, where and how, what emotions may they represent and what do they indicate? If you can do this, you’re a master coach.

You’re building a relationship within yourself, relating to your body and mind in the present moment, listening generatively, exploring and creating awareness of what may be limiting you, and addressing them in action. Once you’re able to create self-awareness and cleanse yourself, you can do the same with anyone else. This is what a good coach does.

Instead of this simple approach, coaches talk about powerful questions, tools, techniques, and models. It is quite possible that exposure to Jung, Maslow, Seligman, and Scharmer would help enhance one’s intuitive acumen to listen & observe, acknowledge & empathize, sense & share and inquire & explore sensations, emotions, and thoughts. The foundation needs to be built within by coaching oneself converting the knowledge to experiential wisdom.

Many coaches I meet are focused on learning. Continuous earning is good if you experiment with it and experience what happens. Vedic educational psychology talks of the process ‘sravana, manana, nidhityasana’, roughly translated as sensing, reflecting, and experiencing. It’s the crucible of experiential learning that distills knowledge into wisdom. Knowledge by itself is garbage; it’s wisdom that counts.

Most of us. Whatever our socio-economic status and level of education, have the learning of life and experiential wisdom. We are born coaches. All we need is a little learning of the process of coaching to focus our knowledge and wisdom to help others by coaching after we experiment within to help ourselves. Simply put, that’s all I did.

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Ram Ramanathan

Ram

Ram is the Founder and a Principal at Coacharya. As the resident Master and mentor coach, Ram oversees and conducts all aspects of coaching and training services offered under the Coacharya banner.