The following is the sixth installment in a weekly series of reflections from one of our learners in the Coaching Foundation Program. Each week, Silvester will recap his personal experience to give insight into what it’s like to become a life coach. If you’re ready to start your journey in coaching, please get in touch. We’re here to help.
This was an interesting week. Mainly because of the love and trust we now share; plus, few realisations I had.
So…let’s dive in
It’s All About Trust
The focus of this session was majorly on building trust and building a psychologically safe space for the client. One of the major steps in building trust is accepting yourself and your client. For most of us, accepting ourselves is very hard. It sure is a problem for me. This is something you will have to work on, constantly. I realize I want to perfect things quickly and when I don’t, I doubt myself, which is bad. So… don’t let those negative thoughts and emotions control you, allow yourself to make your mistakes, don’t compare yourself with others, and do the same for your clients.
Mindless awareness for me is being present for the client without having to put in any effort. Everyone had their own takes about it. To some, it was not letting their thoughts distract them; to others, it was not being too attached to what the client shares. Anyways, the interesting part was achieving the state of mindless awareness.
What do you think should happen to achieve this state?
So…the work starts before the session: for some, it might be meditating; for others, it was dancing—for me, it was listening to music. What matters is that when you are in the session, you are present for the client.
Trainers and The Constant Inner Work
Our trainers/ mentors are very relatable. They share their experiences and their insecurities with us, which helps. I can relate to the nervousness, the self-doubt, and all the thoughts that drag me down. But as of now, it doesn’t bother me much. I think I will be okay talking to complete strangers. Anyways, that brings me to ‘the inner-work’. As coaches, it’s important to learn and reflect on your mistakes, but not dwell on them. You’ll be constantly learning… so the inner-work will never stop. Realise that you are only human and allow yourself to make mistakes.
Hindrance and I
We talked about mindless awareness—there are a lot of Hindrances that will stop you from achieving it. One of the biggest hindrances is Ego. Ego is often associated with ‘I’. If you bring the ‘I’ into the coaching space it will stop you from being a good coach. The ‘I’ can be a god-like status you give yourself, getting too attached to the outcome or in some cases, you think you are inferior to the client. So for me, the way I can get rid of the ‘I’ seeming enough is realising that the coaching journey is a journey you take with your clients so there is no ‘I’ or ‘me’ but ‘WE’.
Coaching and the Lesson Learned
At the end of the day, we had a peer coaching session and I decided to be a coach this time. That is scary. Smita instructed us to address a challenging thing our peers were facing.
“World ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.” -Rocky Balboa. That’s what aptly resonated with my situation. My partner was overwhelmed & listening to her overwhelmed me. It took everything I learned to be present and this is when I learned how hard coaching can be. Coaching isn’t easy and I have a long way to go. This was a rude awakening, but thankfully, I have trainers and cohorts. I will be fine.
That’s it for this week. Looking forward to the session with my peer this week we will continue where we left off. Hopefully, I will do better and be more helpful.