My Coaching Foundation Journey: Detach and Listen- Week 3

Aug 29, 2021

The following is the third instalment in a weekly series of reflections from one of our learners in the Coaching Foundation program. Each week, Silvester will recap his personal experience to give insight into what it’s like to become a life coach. If you’re ready to start your journey in coaching, please get in touch. We’re here to help.

Here we are in week three of my coaching journey. This week we had to work with one other member of the cohort and make a presentation. My friend and I from the cohort also used this opportunity to coach each other and practice SET and LASI. It was my first time coaching, it felt a bit mechanical.

By the time we got into our session, we all had our own set of doubts and insights to share with the cohort like ‘do we have to follow them in the same order?’, ‘ how to use them in self-coaching?’ etc. Tracy and Smita made it a point to clear as much of it as possible. They did it by sharing their own experiences.

Confidence and Safe Space

The one thing that stood out to me this week was the level of confidence the cohort shared. Everyone was eager to share their thoughts, views, and opinions, unlike the previous week. The credit definitely goes to Tracy and Smita for making this possible by creating a safe space for us to share our thoughts and ideas. Shift Happens.

Ethics and Its Role

One of the important topics this week was ethics. What role it plays in coaching, its influence in coaching, etc. Being open to the client, making sure they understand what coaching is, and even referring our client to other coaches or professionals is a part of the ethical code of conduct in coaching. “Be truthful to yourself and to your client”, this was the biggest takeaway for me.  If we talk about it more this blog post won’t be enough, so let’s stop here.

Detachment is Necessary

One of the things I learned and reflected on during the session was a detachment from the client.  Do you think it’s necessary? I personally feel it is; because even though we believe our clients have all the answers if we get too attached to the client or outcome we may end up going down a long rabbit hole. How can you detach yourselves and how can you notice when you are attached to your client? One of the members of my cohort gave a beautiful answer, “if you feel you are influenced by the outcomes for the client or if it stirs emotion. That’s a red signal to step back and re-position yourself.”

Biases, Yours and Mine

We all are familiar with biases, coaches are no different. This might arise due to our values, traditions, upbringing, etc. but as coaches, we should never act upon these biases. Tracy and Smita shared some of the experiences which they went through throughout their journey. How they overcame them and shared a few tips and tricks with us for us to practice. What I love the most about them is they don’t mind being vulnerable and sharing their vulnerabilities.

Listening

Lastly, we discussed the levels of listening. In theory, these seem very easy, I wish it was the same in practice. We as human beings are judgemental creatures, and as coaches, the first step in any conversation is to get past these judgments. I learned that this can be achieved just by being aware of them.

To end the session, we did some peer coaching. It was the first time I got the ‘Aha Moment!’. I felt I was really able to help my partner during the peer coaching. With this belief, I am marching forward in my journey.

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Denz Jacob
Denz Jacob

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